So I know I just finished one downer of a blog, but I am going to throw another your way. Most girls we meet at the internat receive us with open arms and are looking for love and friendship. Some of the older girls seem to be more impartial to our visits, but Hanna seems to actively dislike us. As Jen has mentioned in some of her blogs, some girls will do anything for attention, even if it is negative. These girls go back and forth from being sweethearts to headaches. This is still does not explain Hanna.
Hanna is 24 years old, and our first experiences with her include us saying "priveet" (hello) and her replying "Dopobachenya" (see ya). When I asked if I could sit near her and her friends, she would say I was not allowed and try to send me away. When waving hello to many of the girls, Hanna would give us the finger. One day while Jen was walking with a group of girls past the gates where Hanna was sitting, Hanna pulled out her lighter and attempted to burn Jen's earlobes.
Each day I have been trying to interact with Hanna a bit, understadn her better, and possibly have her open up a bit more. Last week I went to the front gates where Hanna was holding a small black puppy. I asked if I could pet it, and as I began to Hanna made barking noises and thrust the puppy towards me, startling me as she did so. I was determined not to let her bug me or see that what she was doing was getting a reaction out of me, but rather just to pleasantly pass time in her presence. She quickly got bored of trying to startle me and let me pet the puppy and ask questions. Later, she even saw Jen and I sitting on our own eating lunch, and came by with the puppy allowing us to pet her again. Progress, finally! However, the next day Hanna greeted us again by giving us the finger. I went over to ask where the puppy was, seeing as it seemes to be something we both agreed on, "dead", she replied. That was that for the day.
Yesterday Hanna was at the front gates with a couple of her friends again. I went over to see what it really was that happened here. Initially Hanna was teasing me about my language skills (something she does often), then asked if I wanted to smoke or drink (alcohol) with them. No, I replied, but continued to sit with them enjoying the music. She then proceeded to light her own cigarette and blow the smoke in my face. Again, being stubborn, I refused to let this be another reason for her to shoo me away and continued to sit with her. She bored of trying to irritate me and asked me a few questions instead. When I asked her what she liked to do, she said "have sex." What am I supposed to say to this? Instead of replying, I quickly accepted the interuption of another girl who asked me to dance with her. Hanna seemed to enjoy me dancing, whether she thought it was ridiculous and funny or sincerely impressive I'll never know (I'm leaning towards the first). I wasn't sure whether to write the day off as progress or not, but at least I was trying.
Today Hanna again was giving us the finger, and getting frustrated with my lack of comprehension of the language, calling me names and yelling at me at one point. I understand that to Hanna I might be some rich Canadian kid who walks in and out of that internat on a daily basis knowing little to nothign about her life. This is the frustration for me. How do I reach a girl who I know nothing about, and who knows that I haven't got a clue? She has resorted to sex, alcohol, and cigarettes as an outlet it seems. She has a tough shell to break because she is tough and her experiences have shown her that she needs to be. There are people you meet in life that treat you like crap and you tell yourself not to think about it because in the end they aren't worth your time of day. With Hanna it is different...I can't help but want to keep trying. I know I have little time, and I may not get any further than where I am right now with her, but I strive for the patience required to keep trying.